Family is the only system that we don't have to ‘perform’ to belong to. It's the only system that we can't simply ‘drop out’ of at any time. And it is precisely these two things that make ‘family’ an incredibly powerful but also quite energy-sapping topic.

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The good news is that you can change it and it's up to you whether you can draw strength from your system of origin or whether it simply drains your energy. Regardless of the following list, I can tell you that it always pays to look at your roots, your origins, because knowing where you come from always helps you to know where you want to go in the future.

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Is your mother/father or partner a narcissist and you suffer from their narcissistic behaviour?

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A parent needs you all the time and nothing seems to work without you. But since you have your own life, is it often difficult to reconcile everything?

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Do family get-togethers of any kind feel stressful for you and more like compulsory appointments?

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Do you shudder at the thought of having similarities with your mum or dad?

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Are there frequent arguments in your family or do you find it difficult to let go of old grudges and hurts?

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Do you and your partner disagree on the ‘parenting strategy’ for the children?

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Are there conflicts that flare up again and again, do you find it difficult to cope with the tension or do you simply wish for more harmony?

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Do you have the feeling that you are not really understood by your family?

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Are you burdened by the pressure that is put on you or do you feel burdened by the expectations?

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Would you like better communication within the family or do you want to strengthen cohesion?

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Would you like more support and understanding from your family or do you feel that you are being treated unfairly/ that others are being favoured?

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Are you angry with individual family members or have you broken off contact completely?​

 

Contact with certain family members is not as good as you would like it to be? 

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Are you struggling with your past and wish you could finally come to terms with it so that it no longer burdens you?

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You don't get on with one relative, which is also affecting your relationship with another relative whom you hold in high regard?

 

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I could go on and on with this list. If you feel that you would like peace in your system, please feel free to contact me.